Date: 20 Dec 2009 14:00 Title: Chapter 1
This is really good, although I'm not sure I like the idea as much as your other story. I mean, Fleur? I think she's a right annoying prat, and you could get better to have hot sex with Harry (and Hermione?:P)
However, if you want a beta reader I might be able to help - I am very fussy about grammatical errors. On the other hand, this bitchy thing called real life keeps interfering so... :(
Contact me if you want me to beta anyway. I'll deal. :)
Keep writing (both stories)! :) :P
Author's Response: Hi mate, I would like to ask you to go to http://www.fanfiction.net/u/839094/ and read Demon Lord and tell me what you think... as I'm posting most of my stories there. And I would like to see how good you are as a beta reader, so could you send me your email address so I can email you the files...
Date: 19 Mar 2009 22:56 Title: Chapter 1
Liking the story so far but you might want to change the name I’m pretty sure there is another “Harry’s pets” story with Hermione Fleur and Luna being the pets other than that its pretty good
I know there is another story where Hermione, Fleur and Luna are Pets, that's where I got the idea. I did say too that I got the idea from that. As you can see, its not the same as that story, and its going to be much darker then that.
Date: 19 Mar 2009 21:20 Title: Chapter 1
fantastic story please update a.s.a.l.a.
Waiting for the next chapter to come back from my Beta Reader and I post it. After that though, there won't be any more chapters until I finish my Betrayal story, or I get writers block again for it.
Date: 19 Mar 2009 17:34 Title: Chapter 1
I would love to see what you write next. Your a great writer and your stories are great too.
Thanks for the review mate, but I would like to hear more what you like about the story then this: I would love to see what you write next. Your a great writer and your stories are great too.
Without know what people think, I can't make changes to make the story better.
Date: 19 Mar 2009 16:55 Title: Chapter 1
A good start, though not sure why you included the chapter summaries for the first three chapters?
Dark Harry has been done to death, but i'll hold judgement to see where you go with this. I Will say that the dark undertones can be seen from the start, a lot of stories seem to ignore Harry's childhood, the way you have integrated his childhood into his dark side is very good.
Perhaps later on in the story it could explain why the authorities ignored Harry's pleas for help, perhaps the EVIL headmaster applied some sort of notice-me-not charms? Also be nice to see the Dursleys get some reward for their oh-so-nice hospitality ;P
The reason why I added the summaries, is that people know what is coming and give warnings about the chapter.
I know that Dark Harry has been done to death, but I like them and I wanted to try a Dark/Evil Harry. I found thought out too, that lot of writers ignores Harry's childhood when doing a dark story as this.
The idea about why the authorities ignored Harry when he come to them for help, I might just do that.