Date: 05 Oct 2008 12:42 Title: Chamber of Secrets
What was with the bit about the Lunar Eclipse Overlapping with the Full Moon? A Lunar Eclipse can only occur when the Moon is "Full", for that is when the Earth is between the Sun and the Moon. Just as a Solar Eclipse can only occur during a New Moon, because that is the time when the Moon is between the Earth and the Sun.
I think you are trying to say is a "Blue Moon", which is when there are two "Full Moons" in a single calander month. This is possible because the Moon's orbit is 27.5 days but there are more than that in every month, so you could have one on the 1st, 2nd or 3rd of the month and then again on the 29th, 30th or 31st. This occurs about every 2 to 3 years. It is possible to have 2 "Blue Moons" in a year (one in January and one in March) when there is no Full Moon in February. (This is referred to as a "Black Moon" )
Date: 20 Aug 2008 16:56 Title: Prisoner Part 2
Another great chapter mate, loving the story and can't wait to see what you have planed next.
I like the talk with Padfoot, Moony and Harry, Hary is starting to learn that Dumbledore is all he seems to be.
Can't wait to see more about the seventh son of the seventh sun. PLEASE update soon.
Author's Response: Thanks DrnrnI'm working on it. Finally getting to 4th year... took me long enough, right?rnrnChapter whatever- fourth year is outlined which, if you haven't figured it out yet, means absolutely nothing.rnrnGlad you like it and keep reading!
Date: 08 Aug 2008 2:48 Title: Prisoner Part 1
Oh joy, more inconceivable plot details. Hedwig a phoenix? Pettigrew discovered on the first Hogsmeade trip? Harry deciding to eat in the Hog's Head for whatever reason?
Honestly, this chapter was just too much. I couldn't finish it.
Date: 08 Aug 2008 2:43 Title: Prisoner Part 1
It's a semi-decent beginning... but only semi-decent. It's little errors that just drive readers crazy, and they make them unwilling to continue to read your story.
"Pompfrey"? Please. It's spelled "Pomfrey".
"Defense Against the Dark"... what?
You're jsut throwing things at the reader as it is now. In the span of 10,000 words, you have Harry going home then getting the crap beaten out of him, Snape rescues him, Snape takes Harry in for the rest of the summer, Dementors, then Lupin right away telling Harry that there is a method of repelling Dementors.
Like I said earlier, it's a decent start, but you have a long way to go.
Date: 08 Aug 2008 1:53 Title: Prisoner Part 1
A definite length increase over the first version of chapter 3, which i just happened to glance through the first time.
The thing with Hedwig, is a puzzler especially as Harry was given Hedwig as a present from Hagrid in the first book so it wasn't that Harry found Hedwig but instead maybe she was passed to him from Hagrid? Not sure how that one works, but i'm sure you'll explain it later.
Also when Pettigrew was taken into custody wouldn't Sirius also have been taken in so that both would stand trial??
Still good chapter overall,
Thanks for mentioning Hedwig. I'll insure that I clarify the point.
We haven't heard the last of Sirius and Peter. In fact, they're up early in the next chapter-
Thanks for reading.
Date: 07 Aug 2008 13:05 Title: Prisoner Part 1
Oh I remember this chapter, I like it is longer, much better then before, can't wait to read more. Keep up the great chapter and update soon.
Oh I love that Hedwig is a white phoenix and she belonged to Lily, great work.
Author's Response: Glad you liked the changes.
Date: 06 Aug 2008 20:07 Title: Prisoner Part 1
I like, I like a lot! Just got home from working all day, and I have to be there to open tomorrow, so I'll talk to you later.....
Author's Response: Glad you liked the rewrite. Ugh... opening. Talk to you later. Love you!
Date: 30 Jul 2008 18:14 Title: Summer of Hell
Looks good, I'm liking this story, and I assume that Snape went back to Number 4 to get all of Harry's stuff?
Author's Response: Glad you like it. I figured Snape summoned Harry's things while he was asleep/ unconscious.
Date: 30 Jul 2008 12:18 Title: Summer of Hell
Wow Chapter is Pretty good and I think you are taking it at the right Direction so Keep updating mate because I can't wait to read more.
Thanks! I'm working on the next chapter so...
Date: 30 Jul 2008 9:06 Title: Summer of Hell
Grerat chapter, Vernon is an ass as always. Oh the fucking Dursleys, beating Harry that badly.
The fuck bastard Dumbledore telling Figg, not to help Harry, I'm amazed that Snape did.
I wonder what old laws you're going to put into the story? Could you let me know?
PLEASE update soon.
I know a few of the old laws that will come into play, but I'm still working on most of them. Some are old laws of magic and some are wizarding laws, particularly centered around challenges and duels.
For now, there's something shiny in that second chapter that I simply must explore, though it's far from the original plan. It's possible that this could end up as a choose your own ending if this concept works out to be as shiny as it seems.
Thanks for reading. I'm glad you like it.
Date: 30 Jul 2008 8:22 Title: Summer of Hell
INteresting twist. You stated that you have this story outliined and would only continue with feedback. At this point, besides Snape taking in Harry, not a lot has happened so I can only say keep going
I had an outline that has gotten off track. Honestly, I was surprised by Vernon's reaction. Now I'm rather peeved with him because it's going to take some major reworks of the rest of what I'd written (for Harry's third year) to get back on track.
This is why you have to keep your characters on a short leash and never be afraid to whip them...
Date: 30 Jul 2008 7:44 Title: Summer of Hell
Good chapter. any chance of someone giving the dursleys hell for their treatment of harry. also someone needs to hit dumbledore upside his head to make him see things as they are and not how he wants to. Dumbledore needs a nasty shock to set him straight. Hope the Weasleys, Hagrid, Snape, Pomfrey and hermoine and also McGonagal will be good with harry. All of them should work against dumbledore (till he comes to senses) to help Harry....
Look forward to next chapter....
I believe everyone gets theirs whether we see it or not. Rest assured the Dursleys will have to face the consequences of their actions. With Dumbledore, I have my ideas as well.
Harry will have his allies.
Thanks for reading!
Date: 30 Jul 2008 5:33 Title: Summer of Hell
I would love to see what you write next. Your a great writer and your stories are great too. I hope they get everything coming to them for putting a good men thought the veil for something he did not do in the end.
Author's Response: Hmmm... Nobody's been put through the veil. I haven't even gotten to OOTP yet. Thanks though.
Date: 30 Jul 2008 5:28 Title: Summer of Hell
Interesting second chapter, probably could do with being a little longer (it's only cos I like reading).
You say this is going to be dark Harry...does that mean evil or just doing what it takes to survive.
I would suggest he not take the divination route...but runes and arithmancy to prove his possible magical strength and intelligence. Possibly also have a Potter Will, that will allow Harry to break from Dumble's.
There's much more to come. Chapters longer than aorund 2500 words are very difficult for me to write and I end up almost killing the main character or trying a pairing between a nurse and a potions master and that's just not pretty. That said, with the term coming up, the next chapter should be longer.
Darrk Harry- I'll take option C.
As for classes, and wills and so forth, you'll just have to keep reading. At this point, Even I'm not fully sure what's going to happen in the next chapter, though I do know where I want to end up. The devil's in the details.
Date: 30 Jul 2008 2:52 Title: Summer of Hell
there ase times when Snape is portrayed as the good guy where he drop all his old habbits such as him sneering at Harry and is smiling, but I like what you have done you made him a good guy but still have him sneering.
So far i like how this story is shaping up, keep up the good work
Author's Response: Glad you like it.
Date: 23 Jul 2008 20:41 Title: Chamber of Secrets
this seems preaty good so far but it realy is to soon to tell since most of the chapter is a sipl re wright of the book so please update soon so i can give you an honest review
Author's Response: As I've said, the first few chapters are going to be rewrtes. if Harry had been a bit older, say Prongs age, I wouldn't have had any problems, and it would have been rather stupid to say something like "as a result of the basilisk's venom Harry fell into a coma for two years at which point he returned to Hogwarts to finish his schooling. As such, events of years three through seven took place two years later. I have, however, diverged from my original point, which was that I hope to have the second chapter up tomorrow.