Date: 29 Jul 2016 5:46 Title: Chapter 1
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Date: 11 Nov 2008 23:10 Title: Chapter 1
GREAT story! Can't wait to see what you write next!
Now, for the hard part of reviewing, the constructive criticism. All in all, the story is well written, and as the bulk of it takes place in memory, the plot and timeline are good. The only real issue i can mention is a small issue with grammar and such, which can easily be helped with a beta/proof reader. Other than that, no issues, and even my few catches along the grammar lines didn't affect my ability to read and know what you meant. Well done.